Friendships

As a little girl, making friends always came rather easy for me. I naturally found a way to fit in with everyone, and though always seeming to be in that awkward stage, most kids seemed to enjoy my company. I would gravitate to those who always played hopscotch, calling them my besties, and then a few months later switch to those who spend most time on the monkey bars.  And so on and so forth.  All the while feeling connected and rooted in meaningful friendships.

As I have grown up, it amazes me how much more difficult it is to create those meaningful friendships even though there is so much more to share and relate.  Sure, there is time to build those friendships as school, social activities and sometimes part-time jobs are all centered around yourself and time to enjoy other people and those friendships.  Life is conveniently "all about you" and you are able to do as you please.

As a woman, friendships are particularly important for encouraging and building up as we surf, sometimes muddle, through this thing we call life.  And yet, this is the time we tend to forget about outside friendships, totally consumed with the title of employee/mom/wife, too exhausted to think of anything more.

For too long, I have operated in this mode.  Hanging on tightly to old friendships, and trying to create new friendships stuck between the superficial and deep friendship level with never enough time to get anywhere.

Recently, I had a chance to go to a conference with a bunch of ladies I respect and admire for many different reasons.  I am humbled to be included in their desire to put forth an effort in creating an accountability community full of encouragement and truth.  With time as our only challenge, eventually we hope to finally find those childhood frienships that once came so easily.

I am so thankful for all who choose to pour into my life and allow me to call them friend. 

Over using "love?"

I can hear it now: "I totally LOVE these earings!" escaping a cute, fourteen year old girls mouth.  Rolling my eyes slightly, with an adoring grin on my face, I would secretly wonder how she will react when "love" is truly the appropriate verb to use in a situation.  Unfortunately, we all know that this particular verb IS over used thus losing its luster.

But then again, have you ever been around a toddler (girl)? Toddlers are a unique blend of life where everything is new and amazing, and all emotions and belifs are genuine; running through the core, no questions asked.   For example, my daughter truly believes she is a princess and that someday she WILL live in Jesus' castle. Because of this belief she knows and loves the idea that Jesus knows and loves her. And yet, in the same breathe she will explain to you, with the same sincerity, how much she loves Peanut Butter and Grape Jelly sandwiches. Looking at her face, you can not tell a difference in emotion between the two.

Other things she loves:

daddy

hair clips

cheese rollups at Taco Bell

hugging (aka choking) her sister

Barney

going to church

her snuggly bed

mommy

"her" pool

wal-mart and sam's club

singing "Jesus loves the little children"

coloring with her markers

Disney Princess stickers

chocolate

yo-gret (aka yogurt)

...and the list goes on....

My question is, so when does the innocence turn into an avenue for eye rolling? Maybe when the mood swings get more intense...I guess it is something to look forward to.  :)   

Monkey Business

We have been blessed, the last few years, with tickets to our local zoo, being the highlight of our summer for many reasons. Each trip has so many fun memories, but as Mia gets older it is fun to see her interact with the animals she sees, communicate where she wants to go next, and continue to talk about her trip for weeks to come.

We had been talking about going to the zoo for a week, each day bringing tears to her precious face with realization that today was not THE day. So, when Saturday morning rolled around, I was bursting at the seams to spill the beans, congratulating her on waiting so patiently for this day to finally arrive. I had to wait until breakfast was finished, or the poor girl wouldn't eat anything, and give myself a good time frame so she wouldn't feel like she was "getting ready" forever just to leave. Finally it came...

"Do you want to wear your Nike shoes or your Converse shoes today for the zoo?" I said, trying to hide a grin with a twinkle in my eye.

Head quickly turning in my direction, she cocked her head with a don't-mess-with-me look on her face, "the zoo. it's TODAY?!"

She was beside herself. With just her sleep shirt and panties on, she went darting up the stairs to get her socks and "Uncle Nate" shoes. I busted her bubble slightly when I pointed out that she need shorts on and a new shirt, but we dodged that explosion with continual comments about all the amazing animals she was going to see.

The trip was amazing, full of "What's next, Mommy!" and "Hurry! Let's go see ___!" It was a true highlight with pictures and memories that will be treasured forever. She even rode a horse... ("The black one, mommy. NOT the brown one.") continually pointing out to us that she was such a big girl.

To this day, I still have a little voice that says "Mommy. Let's talk zoo animals. Remember?"

bandaids instead of kisses

I remember it like it was yesterday.

Wait. It was just yesterday; yesterday was when the world was just as it should be in this mommy's eyes.  I'm talking about those beautiful days when my naive little girl believed that mommy was so perfectly magical that even her most tender kisses could heal the most horrific of ouchies.  "Mommy kiss it!" was music to my ears as I'd scoop her up into  my arms and smother her with the appropriate number of kisses...and then some!

Then it happened. The scene played out as normal. A small tumble at stage left; mommy waiting at stage right,  on her knees arms opened in a "find refuge here" stance; a horrified "mommy kiss it" creeping through the sobs just as rehearsed numorous times before. But then, someone changed the ending...

"IT STILL HURTS!!!" came tumbling out of precious little lips, leading  way for sobs to turn into whaling!

As of that wasn't enough, her outburts was followed by "please get me a bandaid to fix it?"

Now, I'm no doctor but I thoroughly assessed the situation and found no blood, puncture wounds or excess skin that would naturally warrant the use of a bandaid.  Thus I came to two conclusions with the situation.

One. My lips...nor anything else about me...do not hold special healing, or other amazing, powers.

Two. My daughter continues to learn reality more quickly that I have given her permission for.

S.a.d.

Ebates

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Oops!

Let me preface by saying that I love being a mom and would never change that fact no matter how much money you offered.

That being said, I said something naughty.  Quote: "I can't listen to the interns talk. They have too much fun while I go home, be a mom and go to bed abnormally early for a 26 year old only to start over again the next day." Bad Erin. Bad.

You see, we have these college interns who work with us through the summer and every night they are doing something fun, spilling their exciting details the next day. Monday mornings are the best as they visually paint pictures of their grand weekend adventures and escapades.  As I listen, a wave of green washes over me making it difficult to not make faces or snyde remarks due to the obvious jealousy.

Wow. Hello? Are we in middle school again? I don't understand my feelings, and am now frustrated at the comment that escaped my mouth. Feeling guilty, and overly full from "foot in mouth disease,"  I feel as though I need to explain myself.

I love my life; the babies, the cooking, the cleaning, the run of the mill schedules are all essential and enjoyable to everyday life. BUT there are days where I wish I could atleast remember the fun, carefree spirit I was before. Spur of the moment road trips, random weekend plans, ever changing budget plans so I could afford that cute shirt all sound energizing at times. Thus, I wish I wouldn't have taken that time for granted while it was here. I wouldn't choose to go back, it just sounds freeing at times.

With that being said, I have learned my lesson and choose to not take this time of life for granted either. Times may be challenging, exhausting or down right uneventful, but I still love the ride. And let's be honest, one day I will be looking back at this moment with a "remember when" attitude.

Don't judge me.

It's not fair

Look at my beautiful girls. Though a perfect picture pose meant to stir the heart of any warm hearted being, it was not staged. My girls genuinely love each other, and I am captivated by them. Absolutely adore them.

Mia is 2 1/2 years old full of attitude and unexpected emotional turns.  She will have you in stitches over the littlest phrase and frustrate you over an extended punishment because of an exercised strong-willed attitude. She will sweet talk you with "please may I" and "thank you oh so much" while flashing her gorgeous blues. Mostly, you will adore the way she seeks after her little sister's attention because she loves her uncontrollably.

Lilia is quickly nearing 7 months old as the growth curve of knowledge is exponentially rapid. She is sitting up by herself, rolling all over the house as a convenient mode of transportation, and lighting up a room with her beautiful smile. She eats 3 solid food meals each day with formula snacks along the way and is finally sleeping through the night. Her eyes are constantly searching the room for her sister, watching Mia flit and float in every which direction. She giggles and belly laughs at Mia's silly sounds and antics, all while enjoying her days best when in her very own home. 

My girls are the best which is why I stand by my next comment. "It isn't fair." I dont understand why, even with a "nothing passes me by" mentality, I can feel like everything is flying warp speed. My girls are growing up before my eyes and though I am thankful for the past stages and excited for what is to come, I don't want  them to be gone one day as though it was just a dream. But we are busy day to day as we hurry out the door for another day apart only to cram in some sort of evening routine to bring us back together.  It is moving too fast.  My fear of realizing this so early on? It will most likely only continue to speed up and I don't have money, or the emotional strength, for Prom dresses just yet.

It's not fair.